Saturday, November 10, 2012

COLLABORATING


…, a favorite Montessori word and not always an easy accomplishment. I certainly haven’t perfected it. I watch parents shopping with their children to observe how others do it. Little ones sit in the basket or walk along the side wanting to push the basket, maybe grabbing merchandise off the counters. “Mommy, can I have this?” One mother may just say no while another, understanding that the child wants to do what she is doing, will give the child an option to choose something meaningful.

The key to collaborating is to understand another’s point of view. An older child, of reasoning intelligence, can be told no and with some understanding of their parent’s point of view, will collaborate and accept the no or begin a discussion. The young child, not capable of collaborating, will normally cry. They need the adult to do the collaborating. Collaborating can satisfy even infants and babies when the adult soothes the child with rocking, singing, petting, music, feeding, or change of scene, and of clothing.

The key to understanding, Maria Montessori tells us, is observation, the first essential principle of collaborating with the child’s development of his human intelligence. It takes a lot of heart, patience, and love to sacrifice one’s time for the love of another; but this is the calling of parents. Consistency in awareness of the young child’s point of view will lead parents to the habit of collaboration. This habit will carry over to the frustrating teen years when the young adults struggle to have their own mind. Ideally they will come to their parents for discernment.

Please read my book, Montessori—Living the Good Life. www.montessoritheory.com

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