“We have to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative . .
. . “ Remember that song?
Maren Schmidt had a good quote in her recent newsletter,
Understanding Montessori. “If you find yourself in a "crabby habit of
mind", shift your focus to the blessing instead of the criticism. Look for
the positive, knowing full well the negative is there. Find qualities to
appreciate and praise. What you feed grows, so feed positive qualities with
appreciation and ignore negative qualities as long as no one is hurt. As you
find qualities to be thankful for in your children and others, you will
cultivate an attitude of gratitude.”
She quotes Dr. John Gottman who lists in his book, The Relationship Cure, about 75
qualities we can find to appreciate and praise. Some of these follow: loving,
intelligent, strong, energetic, persistent, funny, gentle, kind, relaxed,
beautiful, calm, tender, careful, strong, interesting and helpful.
As a scientist, Dr. Montessori observed these qualities in the
children and focused on the reasons to value them, knowing they are
attributes of the normal child. The
work of the parent, teacher, or guide is to focus on, appreciate, and praise
the expected positive qualities.
Please
read my book, Montessori—Living the Good
Life. www.montessoritheory.com
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